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And, behonest, when Swamp Thing mates with Adrienne Barbeau, are you watchinghis thing or her boobs?Maybe that's why Bob Hope used to sing "thanks for the mammaries" at theconclusion of some of the shows he put on for overseas troops. He had acaptive audience in the military forces for whom he performed, but itwasn't his comedy that interested them, it was the likes of Ann-Margaretand other living, breathing hooters who kept the soldiers' attention,whether in Korea, Vietnam, or some other hellhole. A whole "restaurant"franchise, Hooters, is built upon tits' resemblance, real or imagined, toowls' eyes. Unfortunately, even a decent pair of tits can't always savethe day. Dana Plato, of TV's Different Strokes, tried to make a careercomeback by exposing her tits in a few tawdry X-rated films, aftercommitting armed robbery in Las Vegas, but, somehow, for her, the magicwasn't there, even though she did have some respectable hooters.If you've been reading this essay closely (or at all),. Actually a pantyman, I guess, but let's not split hairs.I suppose you're thinking that I was one of those guys who secretlywhacked off to "Panty Boy" magazine's delicious, young lovelies. No. Inever saw Panty Boy until much later in life.And I never wore my wife's lingerie whenever she was out. Never reallyconsidered it.Was I caught in my frillies by my wife one time and "forced" to wear acock cage and a maid's outfit while my wife and her lover fucked on mymarital bed?Are there really guys like that? What a pile of crap!Anyway, as I said, I'm twice divorced. No kids.I take equal responsibility for that.I ran out of love with both wives just about the time they ran out oflove for me.And then there was the whole nagging, manipulation and emasculationthing.They did that.Not me.Not that I was a saint.Anyway, I was in no mood to look around for strike three. I wasthrough with women. For a while at least.But my private parts didn't like that life decision very much.I still craved.
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